Here's something the authorities need to investigate as a matter of urgency - four years after loose goods were supposed to be sold by the gram.

I'm not sure which is the greater offence - supplying cannabis or breaking the 1994 (Units of Measurement) Regulations. I know which Sunderland Council Tax-payers have spent more on over the past three years:

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On Thursday British drug law underwent its most radical shake-up for decades when cannabis was downgraded to class C. Although simple possession is unlikely to lead to prosecution in most cases, the drug remains illegal and dealing or possession with intent to supply will carry a maximum 14-year prison sentence.

But a Guardian investigation has established that at least five large-scale online cannabis vendors are operating in this country, in competition with more established Dutch sites. As a result, the drug has never been so easy to buy online.

Electronic payment systems, anonymity and ease of-use have led to a boom in illegal web weed outlets. For an increasing number of dealers and users, the internet is now the first port of call for buying and selling cannabis.

The British sites vary in sophistication and scale. Some are glossy and graphic-designed, brazenly selling their wares to all comers. Others are just simple login pages, with passwords for regular customers only.

All offer a selection of cannabis rarely seen outside Amsterdam coffee shops: potent connoisseur varieties including Jack Herer, Charas, and Ketama Gold. Some are so strong they require health warnings. "Caution!" reads the description for super-strong hashish Black Ice available from one retailer. "Extremely experienced smokers only, please."

Each of the sites boasts levels of technological sophistication more associated with mainstream 21st century e-commerce outfits such as Amazon or eBay. Most sites support "one click" ordering and secure digital payment systems such as Paypal and its smaller rival, nochex.com. Many are open from 9am until 5pm weekdays and provide customer service via email. Orders placed before 1pm are guaranteed to arrive the next day. They can even be tracked via the Royal Mail website.

The product arrives fresh, potent and perfectly weighed. The prices are not cheap - around £50 for a quarter of an ounce on average - but web forums have been full of customers praising the merchandise. There are now the first signs of a crackdown by the authorities. On December 22, in the first operation of its kind, police from the National Hi-Tech Crime Unit raided one of the leading cannabis e-tailers after a five-month investigation. The site - which before the raid had the internet address www.pepespage.net - had been active for around 18 months. A picture of the cartoon skunk Pepe Le Pew, smoking a large joint, adorned the homepage.

The police estimate that the site generated more than £500,000 in revenues. They made three arrests and confiscated several computers in Herefordshire and Sussex.

"All the investigation team have been amazed by the amount of activity that these sites have had and the quantity of orders placed via the internet," said an investigating officer, Matt Cornish of the Herefordshire police.

This sudden show of force has sent ripples through an already fearful market. Since the bust, several leading sites have shut down. One, similar in scale to Pepe's, has taken an extended Christmas break. A promise on its homepage to "reopen fully on December 29" has not been honoured. Forums are swollen with pot smokers bemoaning the loss of their suppliers.

Given the scale and openness of the industry, few seem surprised that the crackdown has been launched.

"Advertising a website in that way, they were asking for it. I would never do that," said Hermes the Hash Trader, a Dutch online dealer with a large customer base in Britain.

Hermes, in his late 20s, is one of several dealers who operate out of email addresses to minimise their chances of being caught.

The former trader and funds administrator has been running his e-business for six months. "I spent months, not to mention thousands of euros, establishing a network of contacts," he said.

His downloadable menu offers 50 varieties of grass and hash. Prices range from £15 to £75 for an eighth of an ounce. The minimum order is £50.

But he confesses to being dogged by constant worries about being busted. "Generally I do enjoy it," he said.

"It's a good job, and usually fun, but it has its downside. It can get very stressful at times."

Customs' seizures are also a constant bugbear. He estimates that one in 50 of his deliveries is intercepted en route to Britain. He does offer refunds for lost orders but only to customers who supply a digital scan of the official Customs and Excise 271 form received if controlled drugs are discovered in your mail.

Most of his customers come from word of mouth and referrals. Most traders are hard to find and prefer it that way.

Websites are hidden from search engines like Google. Most experts agree that the given the scale and anonymity of the internet, the online drug trade is unstoppable.

"The government is going to learn what the music industry is learning. The net is a wall-buster," the technology journalist and former Wired magazine columnist Jon Katz has said.

"It's not policeable. There are not enough cops in the world to monitor all the communications and digital commerce that's going on."

Forensic experts of the National Hi-Tech Crime Unit are examining the computers seized in December for electronic evidence, including the names and email addresses of customers. The unit would not comment on whether this would lead to arrests of those who had used the service.

Most buyers, however, are not put off by the risk of potential intercepted mail or arrest.

"My source got busted but I definitely would buy from an online supplier again," said Sam, 31, a video technician who ordered nearly two ounces from one retailer last year. "I haven't found a new source yet, but I'm looking."

The police insist the downgrading of cannabis to class C will not change their attitude to online cannabis retailers.

"We will target any site engaged in the wholesale supply of controlled drugs," they say. "This is one of our key priorities."

The dealers, however, are hoping it will signal an upturn in business. "There's a fair chance the trade will mushroom when the laws relax," Hermes said. "My plans are to expand until I reach full capacity."

Er.....this is all very interesting, but international drug cartels refer to kilos of heroine/cocaine etc.

Better known as the familiar 'Ki' of Los Angeles street slang.

Yes cannabis tends to be sold in ounces, but all other drugs tend to be sold in kilos

So I've heard, anyway..

The nastier the drug the more likely it is that metric is used.

I'd like to do an 'eric style' theory behind that but I'll let you all make up one for yourselves instead.

;-)

This is when Ali G was interviewing former education secretary.


>>>>>>
Ali G: So what about da maff?

Rod: The maths?

A: Der maff.

R: What's the maff?

A: Der maff. Ya know, one, two, free, four

R: Oh right, yes, very good.

A: Well why don't dey teach proper maff in schools any more?

R: What d'ye mean by proper maths?

A: Ya know, why do day teach in kilos and grams when you should really learn to deal in ounces, quarter ounces, eighf of ounces.

R: Well, being a traditionalist I would have the old ones back again.

A: Wicked. And you got to know about ounces, quarter ounces.. dat sort of fing innit.

R: Well, if you were baking your own breakfast--

A: For real, baking.

R: For real.

A: Bakin', aai! me make me own breakfast!

R: very good.

A: I mean who ever bought a kilo of anyfin-- except me mate Dave is down for a five year stretch. I mean, what use is the kilo for!?

R: I.. er.. don't know if the kilo is a particularly good one.
<<<<<<

SteveH: "The nastier the drug the more likely it is that metric is used.

I'd like to do an 'eric style' theory behind that but I'll let you all make up one for yourselves instead."

Stan:
Is that the point of all this talk about drugs etc on this forum?

You lot really are clutching at straws aren't you.

re (Stan): "You lot really are clutching at straws, aren't you".

REPLY: Better than clutching at spliffs

Straws 'n Spliffs September 21 2004, 10:07 PM

TB:
re (Stan): "You lot really are clutching at straws, aren't you".

REPLY: Better than clutching at spliffs

metre:
One can be excused clutching a joint reading imperialists mostly inane posts. By the way how is your pub life going?

Well there's an admission!

Back to Stan:
=============

SteveH: "The nastier the drug the more likely it is that metric is used.

I'd like to do an 'eric style' theory behind that but I'll let you all make up one for yourselves instead."

Stan:
Is that the point of all this talk about drugs etc on this forum?

You lot really are clutching at straws aren't you.


Back to me again: Erm, Stan - did you really miss the irony in my "joke post" or are you playing the irony game yourself?
I just need to know cos if its the former I'll put a ***king great huge smiley face next to my totally obvious and utterly tongue-in-cheek posts just so that you can cope with the stress of it all.

Are you related to Chris "at the front door" ?

But surely the pro-imperialists could use this subject to further highlight metric downsizing....

BWMA could put out a press release

"Dave the Dealer has recently metricated his scales. He now sells 7g instead of the traditional quarter ounce. He still charges £50 per deal. This equates to a hidden price rise of 1.3%.

This results in an equivalent 24.6% decrease in the enjoyment gained by the average stoner in listening to "Dark Side of the Moon" whilst stuffing crisps & chocolate into his face"

(My tongue is very firmly wedged into my cheek here)

I'm looking forward to Xcole's list of traditional hemp measures in 18th Century USA though!

Dark side of the moon is a masterwork of popular music (and I am not even a stoner!!) Pink Floyd are ,simply put, the business. And will no one comment on my Ali G extract? It wasn't just spam, you know, but quite pertinent.

re (Beranger): "BWMA could put out a press release: 'Dave the Dealer has recently metricated his scales. He now sells 7g instead of the traditional quarter ounce. He still charges £50 per deal. This equates to a hidden price rise of 1.3%. This results in an equivalent 24.6% decrease in the enjoyment gained by the average stoner in listening to "Dark Side of the Moon" whilst stuffing crisps & chocolate into his face'"

REPLY: Great idea, the snag is that the press always want the victim to come forward and say on the record "I was ripped off". Given that buying Class A B or C drugs is a crime, this could be a problem

Tony
I was taking the p*ss - I thought I made that quite clear!!!!!!

Bryan
Personally, I thought "Wish you were here" was their best album, but it's stuck in the car CD multichanger at the moment. I really need to get it fixed. It must be either the poor build quality of my (French) car or one of those imperial sized CD's.....

(Sits back and waits for the outraged reaction from both sides)

Actually, you are not alone. Wish You Were Here **WAS** their best album in my view also.

"Given that buying Class A B or C drugs is a crime"

You buy class C drugs via prescription. I'd recommend Prozac for most here.

""quality of my (French) car or one of those imperial sized CD's.....""

French?
Imperial?
CD?

Don't get me started!!