VOLODIMIR BARABASH - POET OF OPTIMISM


A poem found on the interweb




METRIC MADNESS
Pipe the newest tune of madness,
For this country's citizens,
Who are struck by metric madness...
Poor and helpless denizens.

Watch those drivers on the highways,
Ringed with frowns and without smiles,
As they labour how to render
Kilometers into miles.

On hour housewives show your pity,
As they ply their daily rounds.
To grams all must be converted.
No more ounces...no more pounds.

Voice your feelings for the farmers.
For their daughters and their sons.
They must tabulate in kilos.
No more bushels...no more tons.

And what about all those tradesmen,
Carpenters and engineers.
Draughtsmen, chemists and all others.
For them we should shed our tears.

Teachers, preachers, politicians.
Printers, newsmen...victims all.
Let us hope this metric fever
Will not drive us up the wall.

The "madness" is spending the rest of your life converting new into old. Learn to measure in the new system. Keep a table of conversions for when you have old data and don't feel like remeasuring.

The BWMA approach of continuing to "worship" the "false Gods" of old units is the madness. "Get over it, get with it, get on with it." (blatantly stolen from a USMA poster because it makes perfect sense.)

There, I've gotten my pro-met rant out of the way, and can be reasonable for the rest of the day.

Well said John. If hanging onto old measures drives imperials mad, it is their own fault.

As for the two paragraphs below, for all those folks in the 97 % of the world using metric, no one is shedding a tear nor climbing the wall. They are very happily using metric that is driving the new technologies and leaving the old school imperials behind. Learn the lesson of the tortoise and the hare.


And what about all those tradesmen,
Carpenters and engineers.
Draughtsmen, chemists and all others.
For them we should shed our tears.

Teachers, preachers, politicians.
Printers, newsmen...victims all.
Let us hope this metric fever
Will not drive us up the wall.

Thank you for reproducing the last two verses - I like the last one best.

<<And what about all those tradesmen,
Carpenters and engineers.
Draughtsmen, chemists and all others.
For them we should shed our tears.>>

Excuse me, chemists? I worked in chemistry for several years. It was strictly metric. When was this poem written??
BTW, considering the British meaning of chemist, I'm pretty sure that the pharmacists in the UK operate in metric, correct?

That poem could be more recent but written by someone totally out of touch with reality. Everything in the UK is metric, excepts for road signs and beer pints (the 568 mL type). Medicines are all metric, just like in the US.

However, I am really impressed by preachers preaching in metric. I'd like to understand better exactly how that works.

<<Voice your feelings for the farmers.
For their daughters and their sons.
They must tabulate in kilos.
No more bushels...no more tons.
>>

We in the US aren't as metric as you guys, yet OUR farmers,
or at least their associations, seem quite facile at working in metric tons (tonnes) for export and discussing metric tons of exports in their news letters and web notes.

At the same time, they use bushels (which are really weights in the US established by the states. The farmers weigh a truckload and divide it by the "official" bushel weight) for tabulating domestic production.

<<At the same time, they use bushels (which are really weights in the US established by the states. The farmers weigh a truckload and divide it by the "official" bushel weight) for tabulating domestic production.>>

Does the bushel vary from state to state?

yes, and by type of produce or grain. I'll see if I can find links.
I don't know why they don't just drop the bushel and price in hundredweight or tons.

I've seen a table that compares several states but I can't find it. Below, I have a Wikipedia article with the Federal schedule, and the Mississippi schedule. Note for example that barley is different.

Each state has their own table, on some items, it agrees with Federal schedule, on others it may not.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bushel
<<
Bushels are now most often used as units of mass rather than of volume. The bushels in which grains are bought and sold on commodity markets or at local elevators, and for reports of grain production, are all units of mass. These bushels depend on the commodities being measured; some of the more common ones are:

1 bushel (maize) = 56 lb exactly ¡Ö 25.401 kg
1 bushel (wheat) or soybeans = 60 lb exactly ¡Ö 27.215 kg
1 bushel (barley) = 48 lb exactly ¡Ö 21.772 kg
1 bushel (oats, U.S.) = 32 lb exactly ¡Ö 14.515 kg
1 bushel (oats, Canada) = 34 lb exactly ¡Ö 15.422 kg
other specific values are defined (and those definitions may vary in different jurisdictions, including from state to state in the U.S.) for other grains, oilseeds, fruits, vegetables, coal, hair, and many other commodities.
>>

http://www.mscode.com/free/statutes/75/027/0101.htm
<<
MISSISSIPPI CODE OF 1972
As Amended

SEC. 75-27-101. Schedule of weights and measures of particular commodities.



The standards of the weights and measures of this state as given below shall be deposited with the secretary of state and also at the different state institutions of learning, and the secretary of state and the proctors of those institutions are authorized to confirm and seal all weights and measures brought to them, and to receive the fees therefor. And on all sales by weight of the agricultural products hereinafter named the number of pounds per bushel or the number of pounds per gallon as stated in the following schedule shall be the true and legal standard weight, viz.:
Barley, per bushel ........................................... 60 pounds
Bluegrass seed, per bushel ................................... 14 pounds
Bran, per bushel ............................................. 20 pounds
Buckwheat, per bushel ........................................ 48 pounds
Castor beans, per bushel ..................................... 46 pounds
Clover seed, per bushel ...................................... 60 pounds
Corn, in the ear ............................................. 72 pounds
Corn, shelled, per bushel .................................... 56 pounds
Corn meal, per bushel ........................................ 48 pounds
Corn meal, bolted, per bushel ................................ 44 pounds
Corn meal, unbolted, per bushel .............................. 48 pounds
Cottonseed, per bushel ....................................... 32 pounds
Dried apples, per bushel ..................................... 26 pounds
Dried peaches, per bushel .................................... 33 pounds
Flaxseed, per bushel ......................................... 56 pounds
Flour, in barrels, per barrel ........................... 196 pounds net
Flour, in half barrels ................................... 98 pounds net
Flour, in one-fourth barrel sacks ........................ 48 pounds net
Flour, in one-eighth barrel sacks ........................ 24 pounds net
Ground peas, per bushel ...................................... 24 pounds
Hempseed, per bushel ......................................... 44 pounds
Hungarian grass seed, per bushel ............................. 50 pounds
Irish potatoes, per bushel ................................... 60 pounds
Lime, unslacked, per bushel .................................. 80 pounds
Louisiana cane molasses, per gallon .......................... 11 pounds
Malt, per bushel ............................................. 38 pounds
Meal, in barrels ........................................ 200 pounds net
Millet seed, per bushel ...................................... 50 pounds
Oats, per bushel ............................................. 32 pounds
Onions, per bushel ........................................... 57 pounds
Peas, per bushel ............................................. 60 pounds
Rye, per bushel .............................................. 56 pounds
Salt, per bushel ............................................. 50 pounds
Sorghum, per gallon .......................................... 11 pounds
Sorghum seed, per bushel ..................................... 42 pounds
Stone coal, per bushel ....................................... 80 pounds
Sweet potatoes, per bushel ................................... 54 pounds
Timothy seed, per bushel ..................................... 45 pounds
Turnips, per bushel .......................................... 55 pounds
Wheat, per bushel ............................................ 60 pounds
White beans, per bushel ...................................... 60 pounds
>>

<<Everything in the UK is metric>>

Good ole google - much better than B.A.!

:-D