In response to a complaint by Mrs Jenner of Etchingham, Kent on January 9th 2001, Bromley Environment Services replied on January 22nd,

"You are indeed correct that these signs have the distance to the bridge...in metres rather than in yards. In fact, out of the four advance warning signs on the approaches to the bridge, three of them are incorrect. I have therefore arranged for the words "metres" on the three offending signs to be replaced with the word "yds" as prescribed by the Regulations".

A good result - but please people keep an eye on the signs to ensure that they are changed.

November 2001 : The illegal signs are still there. There are photographs at http://www.ukipbromley.org.uk/

John Youles

The Commander of the Active Service Unit (Metric Pollution Division) has noted the above two messages and the signs are presumed to be located close to Bromley Hospital.

A team will be despatched there shortly to 'free' Mason Hill from this outbreak of pollution.

We believe this case is another one that illustrates the need for direct action. What if Steve Thoburn had said: 'Yes, my scales are illegal, I'll do something about them' and then done nothing? We think he would pretty soon have had a visit from the Trading Standards Gestapo. Time for a swoop!

Active Service Unit (Metric Pollution Division)

The three signs with the words 'metres' on in Bromley have been located and amended.

Using black card on a white gloss background, '95 metres' on Wendover Road was changed to '100 yds', and the two '250 metres' signs on Masons Hill were changed to read '280 yds'.

As a novel touch, used for the first time, a patriotic emblem was affixed to the left-hand-side of each of the three new distances. A local UKIP member has been informed of the mission.

The demetricators had a bigger audience than usual as two of the sigs were adjacent to bus stops for the 61, 207, 228 and a number of other 'buses

Active Service Unit (Metric Pollution Division)

Have you got those humb signs near Bow Road? I reported them ages ago to the council. They are at the beginning of some quiet roads close to Bow Church DLR Station. One of those signs would involve going down the road until it forks (Eleanor Street), and the other is a bit further down.