sad in my heart

Doesn't really require a resonse, just time to shed a tear for someone not worth it.

I loved him more than I should have. He just changed his mind. He didn't want me anymore, he didn't want my children anymore. He just wanted to move on to the next big adventure.

So he divorces me, marries a witch and she promptly gives him the children he wanted. It reminds me of Elanis Morrisets song. He did promise to love me until the day he died, and he is still alive.

Years have past. For the most part, I am ok. Except sometimes, I remember. How much I did love him, the life we had, etc. Would I take him back? HELL NO!

Can I cry about it? No, my family feel that I am better off. The truth is that I am. That doesn't change the pain of being thrown away. Discarded like yesterday's newspaper. After all this time, it really doesn't bother me. But on days when my head has hurt for two days, when my back bothers me and I am worried about my Mother, my sister in law and my children. Yes, I start to feel a little sorry for myself. Even though life is so much better now.

It is hard to forget that someone once thought you have no value. If you knew me, you would know that is not true. I am a good person, a loving mother, daughter, wife, sister and friend. So is it ok to let a tear drop for the pain that still clutches at my chest, just every once in a while.

Does that mean I still love that heartless bastard? I hope not. I hope that it is just my pride.

What a sad moment. I will be fine in an hour and not think of that time in my life for a long time. But when I do, I bet I cry again.

Thanks for listening. Elizabeth. It's still me, just a different part of me that I can't control.