A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is 25 years older than I am.
But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter! We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your son Jeff

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. That is in my center desk drawer.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

Dear son.
I noticed that you took the time to clean your room and make your bed, two feats I was rapidly becoming convinced you were actually incapable of mastering. So mad props to you and good job, we can now expect you to do this on a regular basis.
The next thing I would like to address is the note you left me. While it did make me laugh, after coming close to giving me a coronary I thought such a note needed a response.
I am sure you remember me explaining how drugs caused brain damage, I am also sure you remember just how said brain damage would occur. You are obviously a bright young man and I am sure that you have long since figured out that your dear old dad is not going to beat you senseless. Thus you should know that I have enrolled you in "bootcamp" where you are scheduled to walk, run, sleep on the ground, eat only what you can carry and generally live it in the rough till your councelors decide you have actually decided to change. I know this seems like a harsh punishment in reaction to a few bad grades but it is apparent you got those bad grades because you did not want to apply your energies toward getting better ones. If you are thinking of running please note these guys actually seem to enjoy chasing down recalcitrant charges as they feel it sets the message early on that they can and will catch you no matter what.




Ok now that I have your attention, please realize I just wanted you to remember there are worse things than getting grounded.

Love Dad

Excellent comeback!

Jen