Test answers by teachers

These test answers were allegedly submitted by grammar school teachers around the country:

One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live in other places.

Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.