the tragedy of painting (READ THIS SECONDPLEASE)).... and other autistic thoughts

is that sometimesit is the intensity of the DISTRESS which springs forth the intense inwards whirling (it happens not only as a physical manifestation, but on an emotional, social (especially) level as well) from which casts for-t-he "artistic genius" in autism.
why does it have to be....
that when am not in 'meltdon mode' often do not have the motivation, or the focus, or the .. something.. for creative work.. wether it is painting, or writing...
why is that it seems to flow the best under the most severe of conditions?
why is there a calm in the center of the tornado?
why ?
not
stop
now?


writing has become increasingly difficult. and perhaps it will be a few 'dozen' hours prior to the ability to engage in meaningful exchange.

LG