Misc. Quotes....

1) "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships." (Sharon Stone)

2) "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're
in." (Courtney Cox Monica on "Friends")

3) "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in
poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently
doing quite well for themselves." (Jerry Garcia - Grateful Dead)

4) "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but
he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." (Barbara Bush - Former
US First Lady)

5) "Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet." (Robin Williams)

6) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." (Billy Crystal)

7) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and just give her a house." (Rod Stewart)

8) "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand,
we can open all our own jars." (Bruce Willis - On the difference between
men and women)

9) "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on
me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'"
(George Burns)

10) "Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." (Carmen Boyle - Olympic
Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)

11) "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." (Henry
Kissenger - former US Secretary of State)

12) "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's
reading." (Steve Jobs - Founder: Apple Computers)

13) "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the
natural enemy of a tightrope walker." (Dan Rather - News anchorman)

14) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'GUESS' on it. I said,
'Thyroid problem?" (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

15) "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black
men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." (Tiger Woods)

16) "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by
a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." (Axel Rose -
Guns'n'Roses)

17) "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
turns the state into a gay dungeon-master." (Rev. Jesse Jackson)

18) "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." (Jack
Nicholson)

19) "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
only time of the month that I can be myself." (Roseanne)

20) "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are
just grateful." (Robert De Niro)

21) "In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the WonderBra. Is
that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enoug attention to
women's breasts?" (Hugh Grant)

22) "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?" (Dustin Hoffman)

23) "When the sun comes up, I have morals again." (Elizabeth Taylor)

24) "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'" (Jerry Seinfield)

25) "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time." (Robin Williams)