Food for Thought

Haven't seen this one before

1. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

2. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen".

3. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

4. According to a recent survey, men say that the first things they notice about a woman are their eyes. And women say that the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

5. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

6. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

7. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

8. I'm not 50-something. I'm $49.95, plus shipping and handling.

9. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

10. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

11. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."

12. You read about all these terrorists - most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late
with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.