here's this year's ride report. it's not as amusing as some of my past ones, because unexpectedly, very little went wrong this year for me to complain about.
Though I must quibble with your ending "we're all sick of your gravel road fetish." My bonuses are not chosen simply because they require gravel roads to get to them. I choose them because they are either "fun" (IMO) or nicely fulfill part of a combo scheme. It has never been my intent to torment people who hate gravel, with gravel. The four biggest individual bonuses this year did not require you to ride one foot on an unpaved road. Likewise the second biggest combo bonus.