I have been so incredibly busy at work since I got back from vacation end of July. It's been absolutely crazy here. I'm sorry about the Status Report. I really liked doing it but I just haven't had the time.
I have also come to a decision. We got the results back from DH's antibody test and it was completely normal. Nothing is technically wrong with either of us. My FSH-when I did the Clomid Challenge Test was in normal range as well and I ovulate monthly. Thus, we have decided not to go ahead with the IVF.
I have pretty much given up trying to get pregnant. I can't tell you how peaceful I feel. It's been such a long and emotional journey it's nice to not worry about it. Basically, I believe in my heart that God is saying "No" or "Not yet" and nothing I do will change that. I really feel it in my heart so I have given it all up to God. I truly never thought that I would reach this point. I can't believe it sometimes. I think that this is different for everyone and we all know what to do in our hearts. I have felt this way since day one but stubborn me wanted to control things. I know girls who said they'd never give up and the have babies. I just don't feel that that is the path for me.
I would like to be able to still check in here and offer my support when and where I can. Will that be ok?
I think we've all been pretty busy. I'm back to work now and it's been crazy. I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like.
Your post really hit my heart. I understand how you feel, and of coarse we support your descion. Only you, your husband and God know what's best for you. Giving it all to God is sooo important. I understand what you are saying, especially about wanting to control things.
Last Feb02 when I first signed on here, you were the very first person I talked with here. You were so helpful and very supportive. I will remember that. =)
Of coarse we still want you to check in, and I'd love to know down the road if God throws you any suprises.
It's what we here all dream about.
These past few weeks have been really tough for my husband and I. We keep finding out more and more bad news about our infertiliy causes. I see the light at the end of the tunnel dimming, and I am afraid it'll be going out soon. I learned today that my FSH level is really elevated. My RE wants to do the Clomid Challenge Test (not sure what that means yet) next cycle after our IUI next week.
I have tried to stop asking why, because there are just no answers. I think often of how our lives would be different if we stopped our efforts, and went on to live a childfree life. The more I think about it, the more realistic and tolerable it becomes.
We disscussed our options again tonight, and we think we'd like to presue Adption. And maybe even over IVF.
Thank you for sharing so much of your support and story with us. =) And please do keep in touch!! I will be praying for you.
I am preparing myself for the same thing. I decided to take it one cycle at a time. I will go ahead with the IUI, but i don't think I will go beyond that. I had to take a month break and I didn't think I would, but I feel better. Im not as obssessed of stressed out. Our sex life is even better. I am trying to find something else to live for now. So I can get on with my life. If something causes this much agonizing, Maybe its not meant to happen or maybe Im supposed to be older when it does. I think at this point I would be happy knowing exactly what the problem is even if it is bad news. At least there would be some closure. good luck and god bless.
