Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.


It makes no sense to talk of self-government to a man who cannot even govern his own behavior

Virtually anyone can be a Republican. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But if you want to be a GOOD Republican, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate.

1. You have to believe that Star Wars is saving American lives but AIDS research is waste of money.

2. You have to believe that criminal behavior cannot be cured, people are basically greedy but all you need to keep kids from having sex is telling them not to do it.

3. You have to believe that gun control leads to gun confiscation but any suggestion state might use death penalty against its opponents is conspiracy theory.

4. You have to believe that because tiny portion of National Endowment of Arts money went to "obscene" artists the whole thing should be cancelled.

5. You have to believe that environmental scientist and biologists are always wrong but word of economists is word of God.

6. You have to believe that homosexuality is a choice, but women should be kept out of jobs because gender roles are inborn.

7. You have to believe "Pro-Life" includes death penalties for women committing abortion.

8. You have to believe that businesses (who are innocent darlings never committing anything evil) could make a single dime without functions goverment provides.

9. You have to believe that environmental scienist don't know anything about environment, but guy who wants little golf cares to drive faster through museums does.

10. You have to believe social welfare is bad for people but corporate welfare is good for businesses.

11. You have to believe that Waco was horrifying example of police state but CIA overthrowing democratic goverments was necessary anti-communist struggle.

12. You have to believe the ACLU is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the NRA is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that government regulations protecting clean drinking water and edible meat are socialism and interference in the free market, but subsidized mining, grazing, logging, and defense work is good government.

14. You have to believe that revealing bad things about Thomas Jefferson and George Washington is historical revisionism, but when Clinton is concerned, anything goes.

15. You have to believe that affirmative action is racist but Bell Curve is work of science.

16. You have to believe Rush Limbaugh is really a gentleman.

17. You have to believe that the only reason libertarian non-state policies haven't been tried is giant statist conspiracy bent on preventing it.

18. You have to believe that lying to Congress about illegal arms trade is patriotic, but lying in TV about blowjob is horrible crime.

19. You have to believe that teaching kids about there being homosexuals is radical gay agenda, but mandatory school prayers and Ten Commandment on wall are promoting family values.

20. You have to believe that selling arms to Iran was somehow in best interest of America.