I got a Mess o' Critiques to send Curtis this AM, but Hey, "A Friend's In Need" here...:-)
Initial Impression: DOESN'T really "Work" your Title here, Much...other than the "Outro"...JMO, Natch!
OK, Brass Tacks Time:
Here's Some Sugested Line Changes:
Last Line V1:
Just Another Lover in the Dark
CHORUS:
Line 3, on:
I hear the ticking of Love's Clock
I wait for your Call
Sometimes you Do
Sometimes you Don't
My heart beats On, I'm Still Alone
Without you.
Next Verse:
Line 1: Love with you's an Empty Dream
Line 3: Why DO I Long to see
Your LAST LINE Here's MAGNIFICENT! "KUDOS!"
Good Luck with This, Swiss Miss!
Big Warm Fla. Hug,
Stan
Posted on Dec 3, 2000, 11:39 AM from IP address 209.240.200.127