There is a fly the size of a Goddamned Volkswagen flying around my apartment. I'll probably end up dead before it does. I keep spraying stuff at it and it all rains down on my face while ****ing thing off to parts unknown only to reappear and buzz me in pure arrogance!
I think I have Flyzilla trapped in the bathroom.
I just about emptied (cough, cough) the can of bug spray (cough, cough, wheeze) in there and shut the door.
I may have (cough, wheeze, cough) this battle won.
The monster has escaped.
It just dive bombed me.
I ran for the can of spray, slid across the kitchen floor and landed on my back. My head hit the leg og the kitchen table. I may have a concussion.
It mocks me.
Time to fall back and re-strategize.
I will not be defeated.
Sandi - we have TWO HUGE flies in our livingroom and one in my studio! They are huge and loud and the one in my studio likes to buzz around obnoxiously in the recessed lighting. I was too tired to take them on last night but this weekend . . . . THEY'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!
Last night there was a huge lighting bug/ firefly in my living room, but hubby caught it in his hands and put it outside. I don't like to squish them. Yuck. Hey, I got all bit up at our camp from those damn biting flies about 3 or 4 weeks ago,and I still have the bites on some of my parts! They laugh in the face of Deet- but at least that worked on the skeeters.
One of my friends got to see DETHKLOK in Baltimore last night and wrote a nice little read so I'm just gonna paste it up over here too.
Best damn metal band on the planet
ok concert review for the Dethtour -
The show was freakin awsome!!!!
The Ram's Head Tavern offers "rock star entry". for an extra fee, you can enter the venue two hours before the show, get drink discounts and they have a captain's buffet (basically bar snacks). Along with three other friends we took advantage of the early admittance, which enabled us to get a great spot on the second floor just above the sound/light booth. We had a full view of the stage and the mosh pit.
I've never looked at a pit from above before. In my younger days I was usually in it. very surreal experience.
ok on to the show -
first opening act was Soilent Green. meh...their drummer is amazing, but beyond that they really weren't anything special IMO. They weren't bad just not outstanding.
second opening act was Chimera. They were a better band by only a slight margin. Their stage show, however, is worth the price of admission. Their sound guy should be fired, but their light guy was incredible! very dynamic presentation.
and of course, DETHKLOK.
ok, so they didn't do the puppets like they did on the college tour, and the band is in full view instead of behind a screen. But the video screen that's running during the whole show takes up the whole stage, so your attention is drawn to that not to the guys on stage. The live performance is synced to all new animation created especially for the tour. When Brendon sings, you see Nathan singing the same song.
The video presentation is interactive. Facebones appears a few times throughout the show to give you behind the scenes peeks at the backstage and discuss the etiquette of a mosh pit. there is also interactive portions with Dethklok. The band leaves the stage and we follow Dethklok backstage as they do different things.
There was a very cool moment near the end of their set where all the lights went out and Dethklok talks to the audience. Since Brandon does all the voices, in the dark you can't see him and don't know it's just one guy doing four voices. They sell the illusion very well throughout the whole thing.
The set list was pretty standard with a few surprises. The set seems short because it goes by very quickly.
Dethklok theme
Birthday dethday
Thunderhorse
Murmaider
Dethwater
Hatredcopter
Dethharmonic
Briefcase full of guts
Fan song
Awaken mustakrakish
Go forth and die
Castratikron
After the show, Brendon received fans behind the club at the Dethbus to sign autographs and pose for pics. He stayed out there as long as it took to get to everyone. He was really nice. I got my copy of the dethalbum signed.
Unfortunately, the battery in my camera died. One of my friends took a pic of my with the Dethbus on his cell phone. He's going to send it to me in e-mail. Once I get it I'll post it.
However, check out what I found at the merch booth. it doesn't get any cooler than this: the Dethalbum, on vinyl, as a picture disc. Only 4000 were made.
There was a lot of great merch available for Dethklok as well as the other bands. Nothing cheesy or stupid and not too expensive. T-shirts ran 25 dollars, and that was the most expensive item.
So my recommendation is definately see this show! It's worth the price and it's a lot of fun. But you absolutely must bring ear plugs. This is a loud show. If you forget to bring them, Soilent green (at least at this show) was selling them for a dollar a pair at their merch table.
We are the shining ones, the ones removed from chaos,
the ones who reflect the true spirit of humanity.
Look for us and you will never know for certain what we are or how we became
but you will know us by our ways as we know you by yours
�`�����`����s�`����,,�`����,
DAMMIT!! I can't believe I missed FAF!!!!!!! Okay so I'll FAF more when I get back....have to go out for a while BUT...tImMAy, just to tide ya over HERE's a STORY for ya
WOOOOOOOOOOOOo I don't know that any of us NEEDED to know that mini-me does it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either....in fact, just leave me the hell alone."
I've been driving my Mom's car to and from work because it's sooooo much cheaper to fill up than my Explorer. It's small and old and everything just FEELS different when I drive it. Anyway, I went to Wendy's for lunch a couple of weeks ago and I noticed this NOISE when I was waiting in the drive thru line. It was one of those things where you can't exactly figure out if the noise is YOUR car or another car around you or if it's a random noise OUTSIDE. It was like a clicking or a scratching or something. I blew it off, ordered my food, drove forward in line. It started AGAIN. It HAD to be in my car, so I'm looking around....nothing, I fiddle with the radio, nothing, turn the radio OFF to see if it's maybe the motor...that wasn't it. It's driving me ****ing CRAZY. So I look in the back seat, nothing. I have one of those big silver shade things you put across your window shield that's supposed to keep your car cool. I move it over a bit and what do I see on the carpet??? A BEE the ****ing size of a FIST!! This ****er was SO BIG I should have ordered lunch for it too!! Okay it wasn't the size of a fist, but it WAS about the size of a half dollar...and I am NOT exagerating about that. It wasn't a wasp. I KNOW a BEE and it was a BIG OL BEE. It was SO BIG I could see the FUR on it. I was STUNNED. SO here I am, next in line at Wendy's with a ****ing bee the size of a FIST...okay, okay.. the size of a HALF DOLLAR in the back seat of the car. I'm not really scared of bees, which is lucky, because it was the size of a FIST and all, but **** that if I want this bird sized BEE in the back seat! Well OF ****ING COURSE the car in front of me pulls out, so I have to pull forward. I'm thinking...wtf do I do? So the girl takes my money and gives me my drink. I put the drink in the cup holder, take my change...then when she walks away to pack up my food I grab a tissue and say a prayer. I mean I'm not gonna KILL the bee, cuz I like bees, but I don't know that I like them enough to have an EAGLE sized one making noises like a telegraph in the back seat, ya know? So my PLAN is to cover it, GOD willing I'm FAST enough, grab it and throw it outside. I position myself so I can reach over to the floor in the back. Sure as **** that thing is just sitting there. I think it might even have had the seatbelt on. I cover it, grab it turn to toss it outside and.........the ****ing girl is standing there withmy ****ing FOOD.
So I have my arm HANING out the window and I FEEL this PTERADACTYL (sp? That big ass Dino bird, you know what I mean) SQUIRMING between my fingers. I take the food with my right hand and I throw the tissue down with my lift. The girl didn't know WTF I was doing. I think she thought maybe I had blown my nose and was being a pig and just tossed the tissue out. Well it was like SECONDS and ****ing RODAN came UP from the ground. It didn't FLY, it like....HOVERED. It was like a HOVERING ROCK, with WINGS,. The girl fixed her eyes on it RIGHT as it FLEW inside the drive thru window! I yelled THANK YOU and hit the friggin gas! I shoulda stopped to see if there were any screams. I didn't hear about any incident at Wendy's on the news, so I guess everything was okay. But I do kind of feel a little worried for the people who ordered burgers a couple of minutes later. If Rodan made a wrong turn and landed on the grill, it was big enough to be mistaken!
THE END
true story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either....in fact, just leave me the hell alone."
GREAT STORY MAZ!!!! Sounds like you caught a HUGE BUZZ there!!!! Erherherherherherherherher!!!!!
One time I tried to "toss a pteradactyl" out my window as I was driving to work! The F***ER flew back in, caught my shirt collar, went down my back and stung me square between the shoulder blades as I drove down the road!! It felt like a white hot needle being jammed into my spine -aaaaaAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! I pulled over and hopped out of my car tearing my shirt off on the side of the road. I had a welt the size of a softball in the middle of my back!!! Luckily I'm not allergic and after some ice and baking soda I was on the mend. I'm lucky I didn't drive into a tree!!!
But we do need our bees to survive - so even after this bad experience my motto is:
Yall make me laugh talkin bout big bugs! People here call huge roaches Palmetto bugs. The damn things have wings and can fly. And yall are scared of house flies and bees! lmao I have seen roaches (im sorry palmetto bugs) so big here I have been scared to step on the damn things! All I can say is exterminator! Take care...Guv
Flies?? Oh dear... I like to kill the wee beasties, but i'm more afraid of spiders, bees and wasps than i am of moths and flying insects!! Spiders often out run me when i see them crawling across my living room floor. Sometimes i'm often heard talking them down from the corners of my ceiling, my walls.. and that's when I totally clam up!! I can't even escape the beasts in the shower... one swung towards me on its web just at the weekend. Of course after a sharp scream, I caught it with my wet hands (HOW i found the courage i'll NEVER know!! ) and threw it out the bathroom window. It probably fell 20 feet to its death!!
Of course I found 3 spiders in my hallway last night - one particularly huge - again ... I clammed up and killed the darn things!! I can't seem to get away from them.. they even haunt me in my dreams!!! HELP!!!! How do I get over this phobia????!
Another funny story about spiders!! I was sitting in the passenger seat of my mother's car not too long ago when I happened to look down and saw this huge spider latching onto my breast (well I had a t-shirt on!!!). I froze, screamed one of those Psycho movie screams and opened the car door and bailed out, my mother thinking it was a wasp started screaming her darn head off too - till she realised it was the most humungous spider ever to dare land on my person!!! I shook it off, let the thing fall to the ground before shoving my size 36 boots up its ass - and squish squash ... no more spider!!
It must have taken me a good 10 minutes to control my emotions after that - it's true what they say about adrenaline kicking in!!!
Bee Fur! LMMFAO! I'm gonna start shopping for a BEE FUR jacket! I wonder if the animal rights people will freak out about all the poor little bees killed to make it? LOL!
"You may have tangible wealth untold,
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be--
I had a Mother who read to me."
Please read to your babies...it's so very important!
We are the shining ones, the ones removed from chaos,
the ones who reflect the true spirit of humanity.
Look for us and you will never know for certain what we are or how we became
but you will know us by our ways as we know you by yours
�`�����`����s�`����,,�`����,
Oh nooooo Guv, I'm not one of those, scared of creepy crawlies, kind of people. But this ****er was the size of a ****ing FIST!! OKAY DAMMIT the size of a HALF DOLLAR! It didn't ****ing BUZZ either. It sounded like a ****ing VIBRATOR! Not a battery operated one either, I'm talking one of those big ass PLUG IT IN THE WALL models! That thing was HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE! I almost bought it a taco and called it a date!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either....in fact, just leave me the hell alone."
OMG, I missed the Rodan story earlier! That was hilarious! My husband would've wrecked the damn car, very phobic about bees and wasps! And bee-fur? Isn't that what they made Belushi's costume out of on the old SNL skits? ;)
Ha! Ha! Hate spiders....yeah they can scare the crap out of you...once I had a paper wasp land on my nose....it curled it's abdomen up inside my nostril and stung the inside of my nose. I looked like Chunk from the Goonies for a couple of days...okay...I still look like Chunk...yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!...Jamie.
You know Jamie, I think my house is a haven for spiders -last week i cleared 4 in my hallway. 2 tiny spiders were neatly perched on their webs so i killed them with a cloth, there was one on the ceiling, and a rather large one crawling along my floor to which I took my boot to!!! I never welcome spiders into my home and I just hate the feel of webs - i've been caught in a few. I spend my time clearing them away from my doorways and 2 days later they're back as huge as ever!!!! Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!!!!
I already told that tale above!!!! Only one minor detail wrong - last post said 3 spiders - present post is correct!!! See how demented i've become due to my phobia!!!!!!
Looky what I found....in my flower garden!!!! Not once, but 3 freakin' times!!!!!! Needless to say, the weeds are slowly taking over, as I cannot bring myself to get down in there again!
I'd rather jump out of the window than face a snake. That's a real Catch 22 you've got there jane. The longer and more crowed the weeds get the more attractive it is to snakes. The damn thing may be spawning as we speak!!!
Hey did you catch him Jane!?!?! Did you keep him!?!?! Was he singing "truuuuusthhh in meeee...."?? Did he have swirly eyes!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either....in fact, just leave me the hell alone."
Nope maz, no catch/no kill policy here.....he didn't actually sssssiiing to me but he did slither and do the flick of the tongue quite a bit...and he stood his ground each time we had a confrontation!!! EEEEEEK! And yes, now that I think about it, I do believe his eyes kinda swirled in lazy circles as he 'smelled' me with his lil' forked tongue......ssssshhhivers!!!! Now ya know I'm gonna have to go hunting tomorrow just to see if he's truly spawning minions out there Sandi!!! Might need to call in the troops for some help with this guy...(my troops are a gang of 13,14 yr old hoodlems in my 'hood) What happens to him then is out of my hands!
Bloody hell Jane!!! You see i'd really freak out if i found a snake slithering among my garden - and i've plenty of weeds to kill!!! Hope you find the wee blighter
So I have a couple of Doc appts this morning, but my Boss soooo graciously told me it would be juuuust fine if I wanted to go ahead and take the whole day off. It doesn't make sense to go to therapy appts, then back to work all sore. I LOVE DAYS OFF!!!!!!!! Even if I have to go be tortured a little in the beginning lol!! I'm hopeful though! The back stuff is FINALLY resolving enough that I'm not walking like I have a stick up my ass. I'll miss the vicodin. I'm hoarding it now...only using it for after apts when I KNOW I'm gonna be sore.
Sooo...today, after apts, I'm treating myself to some TAAAAAAACO BELL...cuz, that's my spot! Also gonna swing by the fabric store and see what's on the remnant table, pick up some buttons and bobbins cuz I WILL sew today! I have a couple of things that have been just hanging there waiting to be finished. My goal is to finish them this weekend...maybe even today! I'll tell ya, nothin beats "high on vicodin" sewing LOL!
AAAAAAND since I have the WHOLE DAY OFF, I will be enjoying copious amounts of F-A-F!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either....in fact, just leave me the hell alone."
Well I've never had either so I figure a coin toss is in order Paddy.
Personally, I'm off to the liquor store for a bottle of Gazela. I sold three prints this week and I am thrilled to bits because the dry spell seems to have ended.
We are the shining ones, the ones removed from chaos,
the ones who reflect the true spirit of humanity.
Look for us and you will never know for certain what we are or how we became
but you will know us by our ways as we know you by yours
�`�����`����s�`����,,�`����,
Paddy, I say Stella, the Bud Ice gives me a headache just thinking about it.
MAZ, pahleeze, do not sew overyour fingers with the machine, whilst high on Vicodin! What ya sewin' anyway? Can you please come hem my hubby's pants? No ****,he's 6'4", so I usually have a hard time finding him nice cargos in a 36" length. Well I bought him two pair of Levi's carpenter style cargoes a while back, for work. Can you freaking believe it- they are actually too long! They must be a 38" length. His sister-in-law, the biggest bitch ever, is a seamstress, but do you think she could do the hemming?
Oh Sandi, I forgot to tell you congrats for selling some more patterns! Now get thee to the liquor store for that bubbly wine you like, and drink one for me too!
Heater
Well whadda ya know. I came home from my Doc appts, my allergies starting going off the friggin wall. I'm thinking it had to be from the fabric store. They're having a HUGE sale on pretty much everything to get ready for some remodeling so there's a lot junk flying around the air. Anyway, I came home, bypassed the muscle relaxors for allergy meds and within 1/2 hour I was out like a light! LOL! Woke up a couple of times to pee and get ice water. I didn't get to enjoy any of my court tv shows dammit! I even missed Judge Judy!! So now I'm all kinda fuzzy headed, but I'm not sneezing and I'm not terribly sore from PT either! I guess I'll be doing an evening of sewing instead!
Heater, I have a few unfinished projects hanging around. A dress, a couple of jackets. I'm actually going to do a hem for one of my Cousins. She's in a wedding next month and missed the deadline for alterations on her dress. Sheesh.
My first goal for the evening though is to find some grub! All that drooling and snoring made me hungry!
Pad, my vote is for a cocktail. Have a bloody mary or a crown n coke. That's the way to cheer FAF!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either....in fact, just leave me the hell alone."
Well i'm bored at work so i'm re-booting F-A-F!! I need to hear some funny stories to cheer me up - this mixture of rain and sunshine has started up my cold again!!
Got a phone call from my bank offering me home insurance - just as the guy was transferring me to the appropriate department I decided to hang up!! I've also had loads of charity bags left on my doorstep and letterbox recently. I've given half my wardrobe away - but there's only so many times you can do that or i'd be left with nowt to wear!!! I've been caught having a fly cigarette at work this week and i'm hoping no-one tells my boss because I am supposed to be working for Health and Safety!! hahaha well I sure didn't come up with NO Smoking day materials
Have a fun weekend all - and post some stories of your week so far!!
Spiders often out run me when i see them crawling across my living room floor. Sometimes i'm often heard talking them down from the corners of my ceiling, my walls.. and that's when I totally clam up!! I can't even escape the beasts in the shower... one swung towards me on its web just at the weekend. Of course after a sharp scream, I caught it with my wet hands (HOW i found the courage i'll NEVER know!! 
