Kazarian's last stand...
Welcome to The Best Damn TNA Recap: Ver. 2 for 411mania.com. Once again, it’s me, the King of Wrestling Media Larry Csonka and I am here for you recapping pleasures. Remember, I don’t do star ratings, not my thing. My play by play is straight up, unless something just screams to be commented on in a sarcastic way, which I love to do. I have a good time, I mark out and yes I really enjoy TNA as well as the WWE and all wrestling. So sit back and relax and enjoy The Best Damn TNA Recap: Ver. 2!
Last week on Impact:
The rules for the Ultimate X Match at Destination X are announced. (The Ultimate X Match will begin as a tag team match with the 4 men selected. Once there is a pin, the man pinned is eliminated and then it is a triple threat. After another pin or submission that man will be eliminated and then it will be a 1 on 1 match and THEN and ONLY THEN may they climb for the title. They will have a series of matches the next few weeks on Impact to determine who the 4 men will be.)
Match #1 Ron Killings defeated Michael Shane
Shane Douglas interviewed Christopher Daniels who demanded an automatic spot in the Ultimate X Match.
Match #2 The naturals defeated Buck Quartermain and Lex Lovett
Dustin Rhodes and Abyss presented contracts to Traci. Dustin wants Raven in a “bull rope” match and Abyss wants Hardy in a “falls count anywhere in Universal Studios” match at Destination X.
Match #3 Phi Delta Slam defeated Mickey Batts and Kid Romeo
Dusty makes the Abyss match for Destination X, as well as DDP vs. JJ for the NWA title with a stipulation to come later.
DDP and JJ brawled and Kevin Nash and “The New Age Outlaw” battled as well.
AJ Styles joins the commentary team.
Match #4 Chris Candido defeated Shark Boy and Chris Sabin in an X Division 3-way
Kevin Nash will face The New Age Outlaw at Destination X in a no-DQ match.
Match #5 Monty Brown and Lance Hoyt went to a no contest
Tryton debuted and stared down Monty Brown.
Today on Impact:
America’s Most Wanted © & Dustin Rhodes vs. Petey Williams & Eric Young & Bobby Rude
Chris Sabin vs. Cassidy Reilly
Kid Kash vs. Buck Quartermain
Elix Skipper vs. Chris Candido
And our Main Event – A.J. Styles © & Ron Killings & Sonny Siaki vs. Michael Shane & Kazarian & Christopher Daniels
TNA Impact Starts…NOW!
Highlights of Tryton’s debut last week.
Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us to Universal Studios and TNA IMPACT!
Earlier today Abyss attacked Hardy as 2 dumb-asses looked on and kept eating until Hardy got tossed on their table. They continued to brawl through a pile of tables. BIDNESS IS PICKIN UP!
Match #1 America’s Most Wanted © w/handcuffs & Dustin Rhodes w/bull rope and cowbell vs. Petey Williams & Eric Young & Bobby Rude w/Coach D’Amore Canadian Flag on a hockey stick
Storm and Williams to start. USA chant of course and they lock up and a reversal, tag to Dustin and a double drop kick on Williams. Atomic drop to Williams by Dustin, tag to Harris and Rude gets a tag as well. Lariat by Harris and then dumps Williams to the floor. Spine buster on Rude gets a 2 count. All 6 men are in now and then pair off as AMW, Young and Williams go to the floor to brawl. Dustin and Rude in the ring, then clotheslines him to the floor. Young in Dustin sends him to the floor. D’Amore in now! Dustin drops him, Devine in and CRANKS Dustin with the Hockey Flag! Harris grabs it and goes after Devine, but Rude gets the NORTHERN LARIAT and pins Harris @ 2:19.
Straight up brawl, establishing Rhodes as AMW’s running buddy, and getting Team Canada a sneaky win, and hopefully lead to a rematch for the tag titles.
Commercial time.
We are back with Shane Douglas who pimps the PPV and has Raven with him. Raven says a bull rope match doesn’t frighten him. He says Dustin needs medication. He has invented matches that make a bull rope match look like a Girl Scout meeting. He will punish Dustin, for he is the most ruthless being on the planet, and a cancer on humanity…quote the Raven…Nevermore.
Match #2 Chris Sabin vs. Cassidy Reilly
Lock up and off the ropes goes Sabin and a shoulder block. Reilly to the floor and Sabin with a sweet flip dive to Reilly! Back in the ring, but Reilly with a drop kick and gets 2. Pendulum to Sabin and slams his face off the mat and releases it and covers for 2. Right hands to Sabin, tries a cartwheel back elbow but Sabin gets his knees up. Sabin with right hands now, RANA (botched) on Reilly then a tornado DDT for 2! Sabin has him up, reversal…Michinoku Driver by Reilly for 2! Kicks by Sabin, and has him up again…Cradle Shock and that is all @ 2:51.
Too short, but it was all action. This was another “X Shoot Out” to help Dusty decide who will be in the Ultimate X match at Destination X.
Commercial time.
We are back and the “Alpha Male” Monty Brown is headed to the ring, and he is joining the commentary team. He says Tryton picked the wrong man to mess with and he will POOOOOOOUUUUUNCE him...period! Monty makes a Voltron reference and I take a drink.
Match #3 Kid Kash w/Hoyt vs. Buck Quartermain
Kash attacks at the bell, and chops away. Right hands now and Quartermain gets a flapjack. Clothesline to Kash, then clubbing blows to the back of Kash. Backdrop to Kash and Quartermain covers for 2. Kash misses a charge and flies to the floor. Quartermain follows and beats on Kash some more. Kash runs and Lance nails Quartermain. He beats him down and tosses him back in the ring for Kash. Quartermain tries to fight back but Kash pokes him in the eyes. Off the ropes…sunset flip but Kash rolls out and gets a drop kick. Kash has Quartermain up…MONEY MAKER and that is all @ 2:26.
The lights cut and Tryton is here again. He stands on the entrance ramp and Monty calls him on. He then disappears again. Spooky.
Fun little match, but again too short. Tryton appeared, and I got sleepy.
Commercial time.
Mental note, buy Cook the Kid Kash shirt for his birthday, he’s a huge Kid Kash fan.
We are back as James and Konnan talk. The New Age Outlaw is here and he has business to discuss with James, and James alone and they leave.
Match #4 “Primetime” Elix Skipper vs. Chris Candido w/The Naturals
Lock up and Elix pushes him back and pokes him in the eye. Right hands to Elix but Elix back with a drop kick. Elix tripped by Douglas and a leg drop by Candido. Chops to Elix and then the Naturals beat him down. Stalling suplex by Candido, beautiful, and drops him down. Candido goes to the 2nd rope…leg drop and gets 2. Boot to Elix, then a neck breaker by Candido. Candido covers, Matrix escape and a spin kick to Candido. Clothesline to Candido, another and then a big backdrop to Candido. Elix up top and knocked off by Douglas. Right hand by Candido and he goes up top…TOP ROPE RANA to Elix for 2. Elix fights back, sets Candido on the ropes…NEW SCHOOL RANA and the Naturals distract the ref and Elix knocks them off. Candido grabs him, reversal but Candido gets a roll up for 2. Boots by Elix, SUDDEN DEATH (Kryptonite Krunch) by Elix and that is all @ 4:11.
Thank you for a longer match. I really like the Naturals/Candido pairing, and this was a great use of it. Strong match, and Elix now has a victory and no looks for a spot in the Ultimate X match.
Commercial time
We are back as earlier today Tenay sat down with DDP. Tenay puts over DDP for coming back from a severe back and neck injury. DDP talks about yoga and how it has helped him. He is a man on a mission and wants the NWA title. He has beaten JJ for the WCW title so he can do it here. They play up that JJ using the guitar in WCW was a cause of his neck injuries. Nice. DDP say he cost him millions and March 13th will be his time.
Commercial time as the 6 men come to the ring for the next match.
We are back with Match #5 A.J. Styles © & Ron Killings & Sonny Siaki vs. Michael Shane & Kazarian & “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels w/SWANK new robe
AJ and Daniels to start. Kazarian nails AJ and then Daniels beats on him. Double back elbow to AJ and Daniels gives him the boots. Tag to Shane and AJ is up and snaps off a RANA. High knee drop to Shane. Tag to Killings. Off the ropes…double arm drag to Shane. Right hands by Killings, then boots in the corner. Running power slam to Shane by Killings. Sets Shane on the top rope…Killings up and is thrown off. Missile dropkick by Shane and then knocks AJ off the apron. Tag to Daniels, and he has control of Killings. Killings misses a kick and a SWEET run up Enziguri by Daniels. Tag to Kazarian, slam and sling shot leg drop on Killings. Tag back to Shane and he chops away at Killings. Knee by Shane and Daniels is in, Shane with a back breaker and holds Killings, sling shot leg drop by Daniels and then a 2 count on Killings. Kazarian tagged back in and a hard Irish whip to Killings. Kazarian runs, grabs the top ropes and a powerful basement drop kick and gets 2 as Siaki breaks it up. Front face lock on Killings and Shane is in control. Killings fights to his feet and tries for a tag…TAG to Siaki but the ref didn’t see it! Kazarian back in and beats on Killings. Misses a clothesline…double cross body block and both men are down. Tag to Shane and Siaki. Siaki is cleaning house, Samoan drop to Daniels! Double knees to the back of Kazarian. Shane grabs him, AJ in with a springboard forearm shot! Daniels in and takes out AJ. Killings in and levels Daniels! Kazarian and Killings fly to the floor! Shane and Siaki in, flapjack to Shane! Kazarian grabs Siaki as he went off the ropes, he levels Kazarian…SUPER KICK by Shane and that is all @ 7:49.
Damn good match. They really build up the Ultimate X on commentary and said they had to put on a good show. Super fun finishing sequence, and overall just a lot of fun. They needed a longer match and this was it.
Commercial time
We are back and JJ is on commentary for this match. He says DDP needs to leave Planet Jarrett. He can walk that isle, and he’ll lose just like all the rest.
Match #6 The New Age Outlaw vs. DDP
DDP and JJ brawl on the floor, and then through the crowd! Where’s the Outlaw? DDP rams JJ off of the railing and then they duke it out. Here’s the Outlaw. They drag DDP to the ring and Nash is here. He and the Outlaw battle it out and security is out as we fade to black.
Um, no contest because of bait and switch?
Final Impact Thoughts: 2 really solid and fun matches on today’s show. They are doing a really good job of building and hyping the PPV, but the ending of the show was crap. Don’t run the bait and switch crap. The WWE does that a lot, and you need to be different. Really solid show this week overall, but one last thing. They really need, and I know I have said this before, to go back to the 4-match formula. 5-matches in one hour doesn’t work because we get too many 2-3 minute matches. If you run 5, only one should be a quick squash.
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http://www.TWTF.com! Thanks for joining me this week for Impact. Keep the feedback and suggestions coming; I crave it and can’t live without it! Until next time, I am Larry Csonka and you know you want to be a Zonkamaniac~!
