Planet WCW presents.....
Animal Talk!!!
The Dogg Report
There is adult language contained in the following column.
Ok, Dogg here. The RAW news section was getting really long, so this is your supplemental RAW news, in my forum, my Dogg Report. Good ole JR doesn’t put out his Ross report anymore, ergo I can’t lift my leg on his Restisol hat, but once in a while, I dust the report forum out and let em have it anyway.
The TNA contract for Johnny Singer has expired and he’s told friends that he’s as good as in the WWE. First plans are to make him shadow Shawn Michaels. That way the youngster can see how things are done and what have you. You know, How Vince likes Shawn to hold his balls as he blows him.
In Scott Hall news, he’s once again on leave from TNA to take care of “personal issues”. We here at Animal Talk have learned that he is in fact to be wed again and hope he and his bottle of Jack Daniels <Black Label> will be very happy together.
Also in the TNA promotion, Shane Douglass has been promoted to “Head of Talent Relations”. Slipping back into old habits, Shane immediately fired everyone, elected himself King of the world and told Jeff Jarrett to hand the strap over. After having his ego popped and his head returned to a normal size, they are said to be working on the problem.
Dusty Rhodes recently pissed off the TNA locker room by telling the lads they needed to “Step Up” their wrestling, as it hadn’t been up to par. This coming from a man who might know five wrestling holds on a good day. He’s a great brawler, can handle the mic like few and the “bionic elbow” goes way back, but ole Dusty will never be known for his in ring skills. It’s one of the reasons his son Dustin (Golddust) (and moi) went to real teachers instead of Dusty himself.
Also on the TNA front, seems their champion/owner Jeff Jarrett has been getting mucho heat from the fans including many chants of, “drop the title”. Sadly, many of us saw this coming. Jarrett can now safely be called HHH jr. Why? Because he’s acting exactly like him. He has had that title damn near the entire fucking time this fed has been in business. When asked why, he makes it sound as if the fans love it, that it’s “good heat” and that he knows what’s best. He’ll run this promotion into the ground in the same way Trips is doing for the WWE. The boys in the WWE hate HHH for his hogging of the belt and my sources tell me it’s getting that way in TNA.
Working around Jarrett for an 8-month period in WCW, I can honestly tell you he is an arrogant self-serving ass who is only out for himself. My fondest memory of him is of Steve “Mongo” McMichaels pounding the living shit out of him for banging his slut wife, Debra.
More on the TNA front as it appears Chris Candido is well liked and fits in well. Now all one can hope for is that Tammy Sytch doesn’t show up and make a mess of it.
In more stupid fucking Vince plans, it seems that not only RAW but SmackDown might end up on the USA network. You know it right? The one Vince said sucked when he left it two years ago? Vince was mad because once a year, his beloved fucking wrestling program was preempted for a Dog show. Now the motherfucker needs a network because both Spike and UPN are wanting out. Serves the fucking bastard right.
There is some stupid fucking rumor going around that Dean Malenko has been pissing off the boys backstage. That he steals ideas and that he is only out for himself. Don’t believe it. Dean is one of the most sincere wrestlers you’ll ever meet. Very soft-spoken and always willing to help anyone out, this is yet another bullshit story, probably concocted by the same cocksuckers we were just talking about.
Yes, we’ve all heard. Darling Matt Hardy and his delectable delicacy of a girlfriend, Lita, are having a roe of some type. Matt wants her pictures taken down. Yes, we’ve all heard it. If you really care weather or not Matt and Lita are still bumping uglies, fuck you, go get a life.
I hear Rico is suing the WWE. I hope he wins. I don’t even care what it’s over, I just hope he wins. Go Rico!!!
Rumor has it that at Wrestle Mania 21 there will be a Legend vs. Legend Killer match. Randy Orton vs. the UnderTaker. They will turn Orton heel for this or at the very lease during it.
FUCK VINCE
Thanks, I feel better now. Why are they doing this? Are they really this stupid? They actually accomplished a lot with Orton’s face turn. It worked. So why turn him back six months later? Well besides them being fucking retarded? It would make zero sense.
All the WWE bought media is in tears on the net over Vince and his supposed “injury”. He ain’t got no injury. It’s a bullshit story. He heard the Rock on that show saying he’s done with wrestling. That’s why he’s not making public appearances. He’s been spending his time crying and seeing his shrink!
To end this, I thought we’d look at a bit that was recently done by the WWE
The question was asked of the WWE stars, “What is your favorite Wrestle Mania Moment”?
So lets look at the answers.
Triple H: If I had to pick my very favorite WrestleMania moment, it would be winning the Undisputed Championship from Chris Jericho at WrestleMania X8. Not because of winning the championship, or the match, per se, but because it was kind of like the exclamation point on the return from my quad injury ~ Lets be honest, it’s his favorite because it’s HIM!!!!!! He’s an arrogant fuck.
Randy Orton: I’m biased, so it would be last year, at WrestleMania XX, which was my first WrestleMania. I had my dad in the stands watching my match, which was the first time he could remember watching as a fan in the audience ~ again……it’s all about ME!
Big Show: I was always a fan of Hogan vs. Andre at WrestleMania III, because I thought it told a great story, but I think my favorite WrestleMania match I was in was WrestleMania 2000, when I fought Mick [Foley], ~ well at least he tried to sound a bit humble, but again, it’s back to ME!
Eddie Guerrero: The end of WrestleMania XX, with Chris [Benoit] and I in the ring celebrating. ~ again, it’s all about me, although this was such a cool moment, I’m almost tempted to let him have it.
Booker T: My all-time favorite WrestleMania moment would be Savage and Steamboat. I always have thought that that match was one of, if not the greatest match I’ve ever seen. And I always wanted to top that one day. ~ To get the first humble answer, we had to go to the black man didn’t we? Even he had a bit of “ME” at the end, but lets hear it for Book, the first one who isn’t so self consumed.
Funaki: My favorite WrestleMania moment was Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon in a Ladder Match at WrestleMania X. ~ the little Oriental dude. The first one of pure selflessness. Not one mention of “ME”. Good for him. It’s why I liked him as the Champ. He’s actually earned it.
John Cena: Hogan slamming Andre, WrestleMania III – not even a second thought. ~ Damn, Cena’s stock just went up ten fold in my book. I really hope he takes the strap at Mania now. Because of this? Not really, I just fucking hate JBL.
Scotty 2 Hotty: The time when Pete Rose attacked Kane at WrestleMania 2000, and took a stink face from Rikishi for his troubles. ~ Which probably explains why this guy doesn’t have a job anymore.
Steven Richards: Old-school Undertaker coming back at WrestleMania XX and taking on Kane. ~ Hats off to Stevie “I need a good gimmick, please” Richards. Makes me think even more of him since he’s not such a “me” person, then again, he has never been in Mania, to the best of my knowledge, so it might factor.
William Regal: The Iron Sheik walking down to the ring at WrestleMania X-Seven in Houston for the Gimmick Battle Royal. I was laughing hysterically, because I’ve never seen anyone walk to the ring on their ankles. ~ The bruiser from Blackpool didn’t let me down. Good for Sir William.
Rhyno: Hogan Slamming Andre – WrestleMania III. ~ The Man/Beast as well shows himself for a class act in so far as this goes. And he counts because I know for a fact he’s been in Mania.
Kurt Angle: It always entails yourself (It does if you’re an arrogant fuck), because being in WrestleMania is the greatest thing in the world, regardless of where you are in the show. (This shows you what a complete piece of fucking shit this guy is. Wrestlemania is the greatest thing huh? So it beats out your winning a Gold Medal in the Olympics, you know, in real competition, the marriage to your wife and the birth of your children. What a piece of crap) But my greatest WrestleMania moment was walking out to that ring against Brock Lesnar. I knew my neck was seriously injured, and a lot of the fans did too, (And what an arrogant cocksucker you are) so when I heard all of the people cheering, the neck pain went away – just for that moment. Since then, the neck pain’s been there, but for that one moment, it went numb, and I looked around not believing that I’d finally made it to the main event of WrestleMania, and that’s the pinnacle of being a WWE Superstar. ~ Yes and Brock was so impressed after it, he quit.
Luther Reigns: It’s gonna be when I debut at WrestleMania, that’s gonna be my favorite moment. ~ totally evaded the question. Another arrogant prick.
Mark Jindrak: During the beginning of the WCW invasion, some of us WCW Superstars were sitting in the crowd, watching WrestleMania X-Seven from a skybox in the Houston Astrodome. ~ Yet another one .. it’s all about ….. ME!
Orlando Jordan: The Hollywood Hogan/ Ultimate Warrior standoff at WrestleMania VI, because it was just unreal. ~ another completely selfless black man. Of course, again, OJ hasn’t had the chance to pimp himself there yet. Maybe they can have a dead white girl show up and put him on trial and…….
Danny Basham: When my brother and I made our WrestleMania debut at WrestleMania XX in Madison Square Garden during the Fatal Four Way Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship. ~ first off, he’s not your fucking brother, got that? Also another one who went to the HHH school of ME!
Doug Basham: I have many favorite WrestleMania moments, but the one that goes to the top of my list is being a part of WrestleMania XX. ~ maybe they are brothers.
Jim Ross: Deciding to wear underwear at WrestleMania IX. ~ What more proof do I need that this old fart needs to be gone and put in a fucking home before he wanders off and hurts himself? What the fuck does that even mean? Underwear? What he had a hot date with Mae?
Jerry “the King” Lawler: Well, one was when Pete Rose dressed like a chicken at WrestleMania XV, and got Tombstoned by Kane. The other was when Pete came back the next year with a baseball bat, tried to attack Kane, and got a Stink Face by Rikishi ~ again proof this guy is fucking nuts, however, I have a spy and found out this wasn’t the first answer given by the King. Here’s his original answer
The King Lawler: It was at Wrestlemania 18 and there was this seventh grader in the fourth row right by me. She had on short shorts and a little crop top with her navel showing. I asked her for a date and she said……. Thanks Jer.
Tajiri: Getting the 619 from Rey Mysterio at WrestleMania XX. ~ I’m so disappointed by Taj on this one. Figured he’d at least pretend to be a bit more humble.
Eric Bischoff: I love them all, each and every one. ~ My old boss, a class act all the way!
Robert Conway: Just being in it. Watching WrestleMania is great, but being in it is a lot cooler. ~ Almost made it, but he had to throw “ME” in there, didn’t he?
Sylvain Grenier: Me. When I ran down to the ring at WrestleMania XIX to interfere in the match between Hogan and McMahon. Being in the ring with Hogan in front of all those people was surreal. ~ Ok, not only is he an annoying “ME” person, but he likes Hogan. Fucking go shoot him.
Muhammad Hassan: The Hogan/Rock staredown at WrestleMania X8. ~ I almost want to give him credit for not doing the “ME” thing, but he apparently likes Hogan, which makes him suck on GP.
Khosrow Daivari: Any Stone Cold vs. Rock match, because they were all so interesting to watch. Each of them kicked out of one another’s finishers, and that had never been done up to that point. It was amazing. ~ Hats off to the screaming Arab dude. Not one mention of himself and not one eep about someone who sucks. Both Rock and SCSA are Dogg approved.
Nunzio: When I found out I was participating in the Cruiserweight Battle Royal at WrestleMania XX, because it was a place where my father took me to see all the WWE shows when I was growing up, including the first WrestleMania. ~ Gee, he almost gets the sympathetic nod for the Daddy reference doesn’t he?
Spike Dudley: Without a doubt, the biggest, most inspirational WrestleMania moment for me was WrestleMania III, where Hogan pinned Andre, and Andre lost for the first time. ~ Hey Little Shit Dudley shocked me. I thought he would say “ME” or at least talk about his fake brothers.
Daniel Puder: Mine hasn’t happened yet. It will be next year when I win the WWE Championship. ~ I hate this guy. I’ve not even seen him wrestle yet and I hate him. And not hate in a good way either. I mean I want him to be force-fed his own penis while they electrocute him.
Chavo Guerrero: It was at WrestleMania XX, when I defeated 15 other cruiserweights by myself to retain the Cruiserweight Championship. ~ Ok, not only is he an arrogant ass who did the “ME” thing but then to bang on about how much of a fucking stud he is? Fuck Chavo!
Carlito: I’d say the Ladder Match between Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania X, because it was innovative, and the first time I’d seen anything like it. That match, that match was cool! ~ You know, I hate to say this, but Carlito is growing on me. Of course, he didn’t use the “ME” bit because he has none. He also picked a match I found good. Ok, I will confess that it might be because Carlito is playing the role of Razor Ramon now, but still……..well …….it’s cool!
Akio: Rock vs. Hogan at WrestleMania X8. It was a dream match you never thought would happen, but it did. ~ Thumbs down to Akio, for the Hogan reference alone. It’s just not …….cool.
Rene Dupree: I have two, Savage vs. Steamboat at WrestleMania III, and the Ladder Match between Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania X. ~ Hats off to the French Phenom for not doing the “ME” bit. Plus I dug the Savage/Steamboat match myself.
Paul London: The match between Giant Gonzales and Undertaker at WrestleMania IX. I thought Gonzales was amazing. Here’s this huge guy with a ripped body and perfectly symmetrical body hair – just incredible. (Ok, London almost went down the road to Shmuckdom with this lame fucking statement. He liked his body “symmetrical body hair”? What the fuck is that? A Fagala if I ever heard one. But he did redeem himself by saying) Another of my favorites was Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart the following year. To me, that was the perfect match. ~ Fuckin A, me too!
Rey Mysterio: The first one I was in, which was WrestleMania XIX in Seattle, against Matt Hardy. ~ Is it any doubt that a guy who hung out with Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan is consumed with “ME”?
The Coach: When I started the whole Rock/ Hogan rivalry by interviewing The Rock before his match with Hogan at WrestleMania X8 in Toronto. After my great interview, The Rock went out there and had a great match against Hogan. None of that would have ever happened had it not been for the Coach. ~ Even though he mentioned Hogan, he gets a pass. You have to admire anyone who sucks this much who has ego strength!
Edge: As a fan, it was Hollywood Hogan slamming Andre the Giant. As a Superstar, it was the first time Christian and I won the World Tag Team Championship at WrestleMania 2000 in Anaheim, because after we won, we stood on top of that ladder/ tables contraption, and held the titles over our heads. That was special. ~ Ok, Edge almost got a total Dogg’ing out from me, not only for the Hogan comments but for his pitiful “ME” attitude. What saved him was that I liked that ladder match he and Christian won myself.
Kenzo Suzuki: The Rock vs. Mankind vs. Triple H vs. Big Show, because I was working for New Japan Pro Wrestling, but was training in Calgary. I saw that match, and was so impressed with Foley, that I wanted to be just like him. ~ Good for Kenzo Honda here, not that he has a “ME” moment to exploit, but to mention Mankind.. Way to Go Yamaha dude!
Charlie Haas: Wrestling with Shelton Benjamin at WrestleMania XIX. ~ Yes, Charles, we know, it’s all about you.
Brooklyn Brawler: I’d have to say the match I had before WrestleMania III against Paul Roma. ~ Brawler here gets a pass because he’s a jobber. Knowing you have to suck in front of 93,000 people not even being on TV and enjoying it, that’s a man.
Shannon Moore: The first time I wrestled at a WrestleMania, which was WrestleMania XIX in Seattle. Being in front of 60,000 people, and just being a part of that show was something I’ll remember for the rest of my life – definitely my favorite WrestleMania moment. ~ Ok, Shannon gets a bye for the exact same reason Brawler did. And he’s my friend, so sue me.
Batista: That’s easy, Hogan slamming Andre. ~ Ok, the Hogan thing can be over looked because he’s a man of simple words. He didn’t try to wax poetic on it. Plus he could squash me like a bug.
Chris Jericho: As a fan, my favorite moment was Owen vs. Bret at WrestleMania X. I was a big Owen Hart fan, and I think that that match was his breakout moment. It was really presented well. Then, my personal favorite moment was my match with Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XIX. ~ Jericho is fine because not only did he actually state what his favorite was, and it wasn’t him, but my favorite Mania matches all involved Owen and/or Brett.
Shelton Benjamin: When Rhyno Gored Chavo at WrestleMania XIX, allowing Charlie [Haas] and I to win the WWE Tag Team Championship match. Thanks Rhyno! ~ And Yes, Shelton goes the way of his partner, you know, The Man, and it’s all about “ME”.
Christian: Beating Chris Jericho at WrestleMania XX, ‘cause I liked beating Y2J, and I really enjoyed humiliating him afterwards. ~ Despite him having great ego strength, I’m not one of his “Peeps” and he can go fuck himself. If anything, his TLC match with Edge as his partner should have been a “ME” moment.
Tyson Tomko: Andre the Giant vs. Hollywood Hogan at WrestleMania III. Nothing else compares to that. ~ Works for me Big Man! <See the Batista rule>
Simon Dean: WrestleMania III – Hogan slamming Andre, Savage vs. Steamboat, and [King Kong] Bundy splashing a midget (Little Beaver). ~ You know this Dean guy, was actually really good as Nova, so I have to say……Go fuck yourself! Getting off on a midget named Beaver. Degenerate fuck.
Gene Snitsky: The return of the original Undertaker at WrestleMania XX. ~ Fuckin A Big Man, Fuckin A!
The Hurricane: Personally, it was when I won the Hardcore Championship from Spike Dudley at WrestleMania X8. As a fan, it was Savage winning the WWE Championship by beating Ted DiBiase in the finals of the tournament at WrestleMania IV ~ the Canne gets half credit. He did the stupid “ME” bit, but as I said, I liked the Savage matches myself.
Rosey: The Headshrinkers double splash on Scott Steiner at WrestleMania IX. ~ Definite credit for not having a “ME” moment, if he even could, and I had forgotten that Steiner had been at a Mania. Still, for anything concerning the Headshrinkers …… ewww!
Kane: My first match with Undertaker at WrestleMania XIV. ~ Kane gets credit despite it being about “ME” because he jobbed the match and I’m a Taker mark, myself.
Val Venis: Besides the two WrestleManias I was involved in – I was supposed to be in a third, but ended up on HEAT instead – I would say WrestleMania III with Hogan finally slamming Andre the Giant. ~ God, first his crying on his lame WM appearances or lack there of, then bringing up Hogan? GO POUND SAND!
Maven: WrestleMania III, Steamboat vs. Savage, of course. ~ Boy now here is something I never EEEVVVEEERRR thought I’d say, but damn, I agree with Maven!
Trish Stratus: Winning the Women’s Championship at WrestleMania XIX in Seattle. But then again, any moment with me in it is a memorable one. ~ Oh God, how disgusting. How the Fish can support this cum guzzling hussy is beyond me.
Chris Benoit: Not to be biased, but it would have to be WrestleMania XX, winning the World Heavyweight Championship in Madison Square Garden. That was the defining moment of my career. ~ Come on, I gotta give it up for the Crippler ~ he earned every second of that. One of my top five WM moments.
Shawn Michaels: I’ve got a lot of favorite WrestleMania moments, and I’m proud of that. (Oh God, how can anyone like this self consumed cocksucker? It’s all about ME!!! I’m so arrogant, I won’t just name one match I was in, I’ll go through a fucking list of them. FUCK HB-GAY!) The Ladder Match with Razor Ramon is special (Yes, Scott Hall sure carried you through that one), the WWE Iron Man Match with Bret Hart is special. (Yes, it was, Brett carried the whole match and was then man enough to job it to your ass despite you not having earned it. Probably threatened to “lose your smile” again, eh Shawn?) They’re special for different reasons. The match with Stone Cold at WrestleMania XIV is special because of my situation with my back. (Yes, and how nice of you to fucking pat yourself on the back once again.) Then my first one back (WrestleMania XIX) against Jericho was special, just because I didn’t think I’d be back. (And of course, that fucker Jericho was forced to job to me, or else I’d thrown another tantrum. I’m HB-GAY by God, everyone must lose to me!) So just to be there was special. Being in the main event of WrestleMania XX was special (Yes, how you stole much of Chris Beniot’s spotlight, very nice.) and this one is also shaping up to be special, I’m blessed to be a part of something special. (You wait and see, HB-Gay will either find a way to insert himself into a title match as the Special Guest Ring On Looker or some shit or have his match with Kunt Angle made the main event.) WrestleMania is a special time, and I’ve come to a point where I appreciate every show, and I certainly appreciate every WrestleMania ~ but only the ones you’re in, right Gay. Fuck Shawn Michaels!
That’s it, I’m outta here. Hope you enjoyed this special Dogg Report. Be good to each other and remember……Fuck Vince!
Contact info:
Stardogg (stardog_99@yahoo.com)
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