Long, long ago Apollo spilled a bowl of Ambrosia on a sapling oak tree. Sparks coursed through limbs that shook and then grew rapidly. Apollo stared quizically as its roots snaked towards him. They turned golden. He was amazed and repulsed both. Shaking himself from the hypnotic sight Apollo decided to pretend innocence and shuffle carefully towards his chariot of the Sun. Suddenly from behind him the golden roots emitted a mournful keening wail that echoed off the canyon walls below. Startled, he ran! Not watching where he was going He ran right into a very drunk satyr. "OWWWW!" the satyr screamed.Cupid heard him so he went to tell Zeus, who said wisely, Apollo must pay Five purple popsicles as penance for mutating Persephone's creation. Upon hearing this Appolo's temper started to rise like a sea tide after a storm comes the sun, Smirked the satyr.Once again the satyr was drunk. And once more the limbs snaked and twisted towards Apollo, sparking menacingly. He was saved by Cupid's arrow Which appeared from a dark fading vortex which almost appeared to be expanding large enough to engulf all of Olympus.
The Gods decided it would be best to just close it, but there was just one major problem with the idea. How? Someone was about to suggest throwing old Easter Eggs, but Ares acted in his usual rash manner and rushed toward the vortex throwing fireballs that exploded loudly.he vortex responded by throwing Ares into Hestia's ample bussom. The promptly screamed, "Unhand me you sorry little leather clad hottie!" Ares laughed lasciviously. "There's nothing little about the things my leather clads." With rolling eyes he thrust his large, handsome, irresistable nephew Strife toward Hestia. "You two have fun together!" Ares chuckled, evilly. Hestia almost fainted as Strife's hand slid toward her. She tried to back away quickly! Suddenly the vortex began to expand, swollowing Strife up!
Ares turned to help, but was too late. Shurgging her shoulders, Discord turned to leave but suddenly she stopped and turned to see the Circus arriving through the dark vortex.
Clowns...not clowns.....not killer clowns! Horrific faces emerged that frightened the bunnies Axman had hiding in his deep coat pockets. The bunnies took their sharp claws and hopped at the Olympian standing on the big boulder. There was nowhere to run so he jumped right into a large pot of stinky boiling cabbage, thinking the smell would meltdown the vortex. The clowns had long-handled spoons which they used to scoop out the brains of the Lettucehead bandits. The bandits however stole the spoons and leerd menacingly at the vortex.With spoons held high, they charged with war cries....French! Italian! Ranch!
Meanwhile on the Lettucehead Bandits Ranch three cute tomatoes discuss the possibility of tossed salad but the bacon had other ideas. The pink piggies grabbed the buns and ran for the hills. However they did not see Cupid following them. For once Cupid craved pork as opposed to Ambrosia. Bar-B-Qed ribs are so yummy! Especially when dipped in ambrosia sauce. Cupids mouth watered at the thought and just as he lunged for piggies and buns he slipped and fell on his wing, throwing feathers in the sauce.
With a disgusted frown, Zeus growled "My grandson should have kept the lid on the Ambrosia jar so that couldn't happen"! "But alas it appears I must throw a party and invite all the evil clowns to lick the spills made by the Ambrosia". Was this the final insult to Cupid? It was intolerable and totally unforgiveable. "I'll show him", Cupid said. Then as he turned and took flight, something grabbed his short toga and created a wedgie of olympic size! Such a wedgie could cause severe sideways flying which is never good. Seeing Cupid's dilemma Aphrodite took pity on him and while laughing hysterically, released a length of magic tape which wound itself around Cupid's exposed bare chest. Surprised, Aphrodite giggled "That's just a bonus"! And she proceeded to drool excessively. Suddenly, the vortex appeared in the garden. It whirled and spit out five golden rings which everyone immediately tried to catch, The ensuing scramble carried all close to the vortex. Slimy fingers reached out grasping desperately trying to grab some drool which was just out of cupids' reach. He stretched tried once more to grasp at a golden ring it slipped onto the unsuspecting finger of a passing nasty little demi-goddess. Smiling evilly she polished the ring making it sparkle so brightly that it rivaled Apollo's heavenly golden aura. Apollo's greedy eyes assessed the situation and decided to take what he thought he alone deserved. Reaching toward - the shiney object he miscalculated timing and mistakenly grabbed 'Dite's bodacious tushy!
She turned to slap Apollo with a silver hairbrush with such fury that the smack could be heard for 1000 miles. Mighty Odin wondered what could possibly create a sound loud enough to be heard from the four corners of the world. Odin decided it could possibly be an omen of Ragnarok! Calling for his fiddlers three, Loki stole the three fiddlers' fiddles and gave them to a bearded foreign warrior known to be a psycho fiddle hater. He smashed them against the rocks making screaming sounds while jumping up into the vortex, falling and spinning out of control. Hercules just shook his fist at all of them!
Discord laughed gleefully at the sight of Jester Iolaus herding little chicks into a coral colored corral at Sal's Detox with nothing on but a very small bunch of grapes, purple of course, and on top a huge Pineapple secured only by a single piece of black leather.
Autolocus, who happened to be missing his own rather interesting type of tools for his questionable business dealings in the backrooms of his favorite bar and grill, could only stand shaking his head and rubbing his very over sized mustache, because it was tickling his latest and greatest hickey from Cupcake. The Widow Twanky walked in with such a look of unfulfilled longing that reminded her of when she was a young dancer in the kinky traveling circus Ares had sponsored. From past experiences with Twankey, Autolycus knew that he could have his "acquired" loot confiscated so he set his sights for Odin's mighty throne which he knew would cause trouble. Hercules and Iolaus would have to fight to get close enough to stop him from lifting the seat of Odin's prize.
Autolycus was disappointed to see that the treasure had already been snatched! Who could have beaten the king without his guards seeing a thing? Autolycus had ideas and one was to search for those lettuce-head bandits to see if Demeter had tossed a summer salad.
To his surprise there were now an entire herd of something unexpected and not welcomed since they smelled like boiling cabbages and rotting eggs! The stench permeated the entire courtyard. Although nausea overwhelmed Autolocus, he was more than ready to face these lettuce-head bandits. Not refrigerated properly the sanitation police will have their dumpsters moving rapidly in order to to aid Autolycus. The diversion should provide enough confusion to force the lettuce-heads to retreat. What he didn't know was that if chopped or torn Caesar would cause a cataclysmic browning and wilting covering the planet in a mass of soggy salad. The people of New Greeceland would be hated by the unaware people for the wilted impending disaster heading their way fast!
Just when you thought all was lost, our heros reached into their pouches and pulled out their gigantic multi coloured hooolie kits and began to do their very best at super soaking the lettuce-head bandits. Then suddenly there was a commotion over by the Temple of Aphrodite. The Temple Guards were beating on the temple doors. It seems someone inside had locked them all out! As everyone knows that isn't good! The villagers from towns where Aphrodite had her Temples banded together to bash the door. Hercules was there trying to keep everything in order.
Autolycus saw what he had to do was sneak behind the distracted villagers and .....
This message has been edited by KyCalee on Jul 2, 2008 11:02 PM
