"Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the priest came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The priest tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice' he said,'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.
'Oh yes' she replied,'Isn't it wonderful?' I was walking in through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter' "

Thats a good one, here's another:


There is a cruise ship full of orphans on a vacation
on this cruise ship you also have a doctor, a fire fighter and a Catholic priest
the ship cathces fire and the fire fighter is running around screaming "hurry we have to save the children"
the doctor says "f*ck the children"
and the Catholic priest replies "do you think we have time too"?